31th January 2014
Just a regular friday afternoon when i went with a friend to my favorite climbing gym for bouldering. We did several routes for warm up an i worked on one of my projects but it didn’t work out. Always from 4th to 5th hold (both tiny crimp holds) i fell out of the wall 1,5 meters down. No big deal as i always landed on that fluffy crashpad underground, the route was overhanging so no problem at all. After trying 3 times this day i gave up and did a route in same grade just onsite. YEAH, 7a boulder –> onsite, awesome i felt strong and able to climb anything else . Now after managing this route in the same grade as my project i wanted to try it only one more time. So back to my project and easily i moved up to crimp hold #4 and then a dynamic move to #5 and yes i was holding that crimp with just to fingers and it was good. After releasing hold #4 to get my hand free for hold #6 my left foot slipped away and one more time i fell down. this time on a f***ing volume which was the starting point of an easier route. My right foot hit the volume really hard and the rest of my body moved on, so my foot was twisted and only my upper body hit the soft gym mat. That hurts so incredibly so that i didn’t realize what was happening. Instantly some of the gym trainers went by and gave ice packs to me. All experts around had been sure that maybe some bands in my foot have been ripped of. Because the pain made it impossible for me to make serious decisions what to do next my friend had to decide what to do next. He caught another guy standing around to carry me into his car and he drove me into the hospital.
After taking some x ray pictures from my foot the local doctors decided to call their boss. It was friday late evening, which means that there were not that many surgeons around. After one more Computer Tomography the doc asked me the following.
Doc: „when did you eat last time, and what?“.
Me: „a sandwich for lunch“
Doc: „all right then we will perform surgery tonight“
Me: „When?“
Doc:“NOW ! I just have to call my boss he will do it.“
Me: „Okay! how long have i to stay here“
Doc: „no idea, that’s not your biggest problem right now but i guess some days …“
I was pissed of because that ruined all my plans for the next „some days“ and i had no clue what he meant with „some“. But I was kind of relaxed in my delirium of taking my third painkilling pill.
01st February
After waking up i had some more pills for breakfast and the surgeons described what i exactly did to my foot.
They had to put in 5 Nails, 2 screws and 2 wires into my foot because i broke one of my metatarsal bones (these bones that are connecting your toes with your ankle). And the more problematic injury was that i broke the Talus bone (the main weight bearing bone in the ankle). And what made it worse that the surgeons didn’t know if they succeeded. The Prof. told me that if the parts don’t fit together it will be necessary to stiff the ankle so that bones can not rub on each other and cause pain.
That’s pretty rare because i didn’t break the bone into 2 parts with a flat surface. I broke the talus bone into three bigger parts and between these parts several bone-flakes were located because of the rotational force. Everything inside my ankle was smashed and couldn’t be connected together with screws and nails.
Then i started to realize what that means: maybe my right foot stays stiff for the next 50 years … not so good :*(
The worst day of my life i had to admit. I started to question myself why that has to happen to me …
14th February
After two weeks lying around and sleeping not more than 1-2 hours in a row i was allowed to leave the hospital with a wheelchair and crouches.
Doc: „But do not use your foot!“
During this time i had to cancel vacation, was not allowed to do any sportive action which involves my legs, was unable to drive a car and couldn’t go to work. Terrible situation and very frustrating because i love traveling and climbing and spent much time before the accident to plan a trip to Spain. Hell – that was the time when i really had to struggle with bad mood and felt depressed. This phase lasted from February till mid of May
My friends, my colleagues and my family took much care of me in this time. Thanks to everybody who supported me during that period!! I started a rehab program twice a week just to get my upper body into movement. A horrible time started living 8 weeks with your leg in plaster. No hands free to carry a glas of water, standing on one foot while cooking in the kitchen and carrying stuff in a backpack all the time you are out with crouches. What i learned during this time: „focus on what you can do and not what you can’t do!“
3th April
Jippi the plaster was removed, but my foot looked like i didn’t use it for months. Wait ! i didn’t use it for months. I was still not able to move my ankle because of the metal inside my foot. So any time my leg was hanging downwards it went blue because of blood streaming in. And you need to move your muscles to get the blood back, but my muscles vanished and i was not able to perform such movements. So the only way was to hold the leg higher than my heart. which means –> lying around.
29th April
After three month of doing nothing more or less i had my second surgery. One of these f**ing nails was removed which made my ankle stiff beforehand.
yeah i was able to move my foot with my hand, it hurt but it was possible. Active movement impossible because –> no muscles and shortened ligaments. Which meant practicing, practicing and practicing.
30th May
use your foot
finally i was allowed to move my foot passively and actively. It gave me pain but as well confidence that everything is getting better.
10th June
In June i was the first time out for location scouting with my friend. Still with crouches but man we managed it to get to the wall and just looked a little bit around. Again i was infected to get out climbing outdoor as soon as possible.
24th June
First time back climbing at my favorite spot outside. Yeaaaha top rope climbing left foot a climbing shoe and right a „Trango Guide Hiking shoe“ hey i did a grade 4 climb yes yes yes. That felt good and because my friends were carrying my backpack, rope, water, food so let’s say anything i needed to climb it was possible to get back climbing.
No it was up to me to regain strength. I was practicing a lot and my friends made it possible to went out twice a week to the climbing gym or into Frankenjura or outside anywhere else.
28th September
After three more months of walking, hiking, climbing i was able to keep me on my feet up to 6 hours a day. That was quiet good so i decided to join the PETZL Roc Trip with a friend
We booked the flight to Thessaloniki and went by car to meteora to take part at the roc trip – what a wonderful experience. That wouldn’t have been possible with my friend who had to be my personal sherpa. And after 6 hours my foot was f***ed up and i was only capable to belay my friend. He did the free part and i only tried to keep track on top rope. One of the greatest adventures of my life
What i have learned during that time: you have to proof to yourself that you can make it. That feeling of success gives you the energy to work harder on your goals. That was necessary to regain physical but more important mental strength.
18th December
Getting out this whole metal stuff
And again i had an appointment in the hospital to get the nails and srews removed. The scary thing about that is that i remembered the pain and the hard time for rehab in February. It’s hard to look forward when you know that this surgery throws you back again. i hate it, but there’s no other way.
So again my foot is swallowed and i can not move it without having this terrible pain. So no driving, walking or moving without crouches arrrghhh. But Hey, this time i know what i have to do to fight my way back. I’m sure that this will get quiet faster.
Today – 5th January 2015
And this is where i am standing today. The last year has been more challenging than anything else i’ve experienced ever before. After this hard rehabilitation process I gained strength and confidence. And what i learned out of this painful journey is that there is always a solution even if you think you won’t overcome the situation. You have to accept the situation and figure out what you can influence to make it better. You have to train really hard, fight and motivate yourself again and again. After suffering a long time and regaining strength it’s possible to overcome the worst situation. Find and fight your way for a good physical and mental health !